Autonomy, as a quality of behavioral regulation, means acting with a sense of choice and internal coherence — feeling like an agent of your own actions, aligned with your values ​​(integrity) and expressed in a genuine and unforced way (spontaneity). Many of the decisions we make every day feel like our own. But are they truly? Or will they be shaped by external expectations, rewards, fear of failure, or necessity?

The challenge lies in recognizing and listening to our inner voice, which is sometimes muffled by social expectations and the variety of values ​​that surround us. The good news? Self-determination is practiced.

Feed the three essential psychological nutrients

Self-determination is strengthened when we take care of three basic needs daily:

• Autonomy: Reflect on whether you acted out of conviction or pressure and whether your actions were aligned with your values.
• Skill: Look for activities that encourage you to grow. Avoid both the boredom of very easy tasks and the frustration of excessively difficult ones.
• Relationship: Assess whether you feel understood, valued and authentic in your relationships. Cultivate meaningful connections and demonstrate genuine concern for others.

Transform “I have to” into “I Choose”

Autonomy does not depend on immediate pleasure, but on personal meaning. The central question is simple: “Does this make sense to me?” To transform obligations into conscious choices:

• Find meaning: Relate uninteresting tasks to a personal value or goal. Instead of relying solely on willpower, try to understand why this action is important to you.
• Integrate the task: Consciously recognize its importance and long-term benefits. When you accept your value, the task stops being just an obligation and becomes an assumed choice.

Promote your autonomy (and that of others)

Supported autonomy generates genuine cooperation and greater engagement. To promote self-determination:

• Reduce pressure: Avoid ultimatums, comparisons and excessive control.
• Use language of choice: Replace “you must” with “you can”, “what do you think about trying this way?” or “would you prefer to start with…?”.
• Listen and validate before giving advice: Acknowledge the person’s feelings and point of view before giving advice. Validating negative emotions helps reduce resistance (“I understand this might be difficult”).
• Offer real options: Present alternatives and support the initiative — for example, “Here are two possibilities. Which do you prefer?”

Prioritize goals that truly nourish (intrinsic)

Direct your time and energy toward goals that promote growth and meaning:

• Personal growth: Cultivate curiosity — “What can I learn from this?”
• Meaningful relationships: Invest in deep and authentic bonds.
• Community contribution: Ask yourself “How can I help?”

Be cautious with external aspirations centered on wealth, status or recognition. When they become a priority, they are often associated with greater anxiety and less satisfaction.

Self-determination in everyday life Small intentional gestures can reinforce your autonomy, competence, and relationships with others:

• Create small choices: Decide where to start, choose the place where you will work or organize the order of tasks.
• Structure your time: Organize your day according to your priorities, rather than just responding to what comes up.
• Seek constructive feedback: Ask “What can I improve?” and value suggestions that help you increase your competence and effectiveness.
• Take care of relationships: Schedule a brief call or a moment of meaningful conversation.

Mental health flourishes when we live consistently with our values, nurture our basic psychological needs, and foster contexts that support autonomy—in ourselves and others. Living in a self-determined way is living from the inside out.

References

Appel-Silva, M., Wendt, G. W., & Argimon, I. I. L. (2010). Self-determination theory and sociocultural influences on identity. Psicologia em Revista, 16(2), 351–369. Bureau, J. S., Howard, J. L., Chong, J. X. Y., & Guay, F. (2022). Pathways to student motivation: A meta-analysis of antecedents of autonomous and controlled motivations. Review of Educational Research, 92(1), 46–72. https://doi.org/10.3102/00346543211042426.

Neufeld, A. (2025). Putting self-determination theory into practice: A practical tool for supporting medical learners’ motivation. The Clinical Teacher, 22(1), e70062. https://doi.org/10.1111/tct.70062.

Patrick, H., & Williams, G. C. (2012). Self-determination theory: its application to health behavior and complementarity with motivational interviewing. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 9(18). https://doi.org/10.1186/1479-5868-9-18.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2020). Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation from a self-determination theory perspective: Definitions, theory, practices, and future directions. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 61, 101860. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cedpsych.2020.101860.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2017). Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. Guilford Press.